Losowe angielskie dowcipy
HillBilly Memories ->
There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W.Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview. "Sir, I a... [ca造 ->]
COYOTE "vs" ACME ->
In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, Presiding Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff -vs.- Acme Company, Defendant Opening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: ... [ca造 ->]
What do you call a dog... ->
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles? SPARKY!!!... [ca造 ->]
AMERICA: Passing the Blame ->
We yanks just love to pass the blame. What other country can boast of 3 lawyers for every citizen. We come up with the best reasons to blame others for our own problems. Here's a small list... If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she's ho... [ca造 ->]
Hmmm...Ponderings ->
What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too." Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes... [ca造 ->]
Shoulder Pads ->
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno! Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads... [ca造 ->]
New Words for the 90s ->
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hand... [ca造 ->]
Gov't ->
Don't steal... The government doesn't like competition!... [ca造 ->]
World's Worst Pick-up Lines... ->
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. Can I buy you a drink, or do y... [ca造 ->]
Timbucktoo ->
It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats died on the same day. When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using ... [ca造 ->]
Get a hot mama! ->
A 87 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, t... [ca造 ->]
Yo mama's so fat ->
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to school, she sat next to everybody! Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she REALLY sits around the house. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a "Malcom X" shirt, helicopters land on her!... [ca造 ->]
Having a baby ->
There were three ladies at the obstetrician's office, waiting to see what their results were. When the first young woman came back to the waiting room, she was very happy. "I'm going to have a boy!" she declared. "The doctor said that if my husban... [ca造 ->]
Artificial Insemination ->
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't ... [ca造 ->]
Its Bedtime! ->
The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars. "Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed. "Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother ... [ca造 ->]